Nasty huh? 

Yep, even for me, a 30 year smoker, at 2 1/2 packs a day,
it's pretty gross.  Seeing, and smelling this every day would
make you think that I'd have quit years ago.  Unfortunately,
my family apparently has some funky gene that super
addicts us.  My dad died of a heart attack at age 48, my
mom finally quit smoking a few years ago because of
health problems, and my brother and sister still smoke. 

Of all of them, I'm probably the heaviest smoker.  I started
smoking at age 18 when I entered the Navy.  It started out of boredom and a way to socialize
with the other recruits in boot camp.  It turned into a lifelong addiction that has basically caused
me in many ways to live my life around said addiction.  Going on a trip out of town?  Gotta make
sure I have enough smokes to get me through the trip.  Running low on smokes at night?  Yet
another midnight trip to the Shell station to ensure I can get my morning fix.  Sound familiar?  It
probably does if you too are a smoker. 

I quit once for a year using the nicotine patches when they first came out.  Went camping/fishing
with the "boys" one weekend, got drunk and bummed a couple of smokes....addiction kicked
right back into gear and within a week was smoking two packs a day.  I got the monkey on my
back BAD.   There is no doubt in my mind that it's killing me, but I apparently don't have the
mental stamina to stop it.  I'm smoking one now as I post this.  A huge part of it is more than
likely attributed to habit.  I also use the excuse that it relieves stress.....however, since I smoke
so much and still feel stressed, I'm apparently not getting much stress relief huh? 

Well, after trying the patch, the nicotine gum, and a one day attempt to stop cold turkey, I may
have found a way to at least cut down my smoking by a third, with the hope that eventually I'll
completely quit the habit.  I started this new form of self treatment on the afternoon of 10/29/08.
The following day I went from 2 - 3 packs a day to one pack.  The next day I also smoked one
pack.  The following two days I averaged a few smokes above that one pack, and I am smoking
the last cigarette in my one pack right now.  Since I'll be going to bed in a few minutes, that will
be it for the day. 

So what's the secret?  I'll let you know in the next post.  Wish me luck in the meantime!

Kevin